Cart Before The Horse Page 16

  She turned to him, groggy from lack of sleep and rumpled from what little bit he’d accomplished before she’d awoken him. Holly took his hand and placed it on her stomach. She watched him.

  He sat still for a moment and then shifted his eyes to hers. “What’s going on?”

  His eyes weren’t sparkling, and his lips hadn’t parted into that wonderful smile.

  She felt her own lips turn downward. “It’s the baby.” She set the book down next to him. “Can’t you feel it?”

  “Feel what?”

  “Quickening. I can feel the baby moving.”

  The smile formed, and she felt the shimmer of hope.

  “I can’t feel it, Hol.”

  She dropped her shoulders. “I can.”

  “That’s wonderful. What’s it like?”

  “Like I’m going to throw up, but I’m not sick.”

  He didn’t move his hand away. Instead, he repositioned it from place to place as if he’d feel it somewhere else. When he looked up at her again, she saw the sparkle she’d hoped for. “I think it’s wonderful you can feel her. It won’t be long be-

  fore I do.”

  “You can’t feel that?”

  “No, sweetheart.”

  She let out a sigh. “Sorry I woke you.”

  “I’m not.” He moved in closer and kissed her softly. “It was nice to be part of it.”

  Gabe lay back down, pulled up the blankets, and was quickly asleep again. Holly sat and watched him. The feeling in

  her stomach soon subsided, but she was still filled with that hope. They were sharing a life. Even an afternoon with her mother couldn’t ruin the few special moments she’d had with Gabe.

  The seamstress pulled the material of Holly’s dress and pinned it where the hem should fall. They’d picked the perfect dress to hide most signs of her pregnancy. Holly tried to remember if that was her doing or her mother’s.

  “How many responses have you had for the ceremony and reception?” Her mother’s voice carried through the dressing area as she tried on another mother’s dress, this time in mauve.

  “I don’t know. I haven’t counted yet.”

  “Holly, now really. How is Gabe supposed to plan a meal around that?”

  “I don’t know mother. I suppose if he were worried, he’d ask me. We know who we invited, and we assume they are

  all coming.”

  Her mother turned around and glared at her in the mirror. “How many people did you invite?”

  “Just immediate family and a few coworkers. That’s why I’m not worried about numbers. I know who will come.”

  “What about Aunt Sami and Great-Aunt Georgia?”

  “Mom, Georgia isn’t even related to me, and I haven’t seen her since I was fifteen.”

  Her mother twisted back to her own set of mirrors and straightened the dress, which had no form. “Well, I assume they will be very disappointed.”

  “They will, or you will?” Holly spun around without even thinking about the woman at her feet pinning the delicate fabric, whom she nearly knocked over.

  Her mother turned to her with her eyes narrowed. Holly knew she’d struck a chord and was willing to fight the battle before her.

  “Holly, you don’t need to disrespect me just because you

  disrespected yourself.”

  “And that’s what gets you, isn’t it? Perfectly smart Holly got knocked up by a man she didn’t know.” That had been meant to sting her mother, but in fact it bit her. She’d never told her mother she didn’t know Gabe before.

  Her mother’s eyebrows shot upward and her eyes grew wide. “Is that so?” Her voice had risen to that annoying pitch that told Holly she was disappointed.

  “I’ve lived my life with you telling me I’ve done everything backward, Mother, and perhaps I have, but when, please tell me, did it work out poorly? I zipped through the public school system. I was a prodigy in college, graduating at an age most people are only worried about popping their zits. I’ve made a name for myself in an industry I love. So once, in my whole life, I threw caution to the wind.”

  “We always have to pay for our mistakes, Holly. You’ll be paying for a long time.”

  Holly raised her hand to her chest. She could feel her heartbeat ramping up under her palm. “Is that what you’re doing? You’re paying for the mistakes you made in your life? You’re blaming your miserable past on me? I wasn’t the one who married you off so young. I wasn’t the one who looked down on a daughter who only wanted to have her mother’s attention because she was so young among her peers that she had no friends.”

  Holly lifted the dress and bolted across the room. She could see the tears in her mother’s eyes, and as mad as she was, it was tearing her apart, but she wasn’t done.

  “Mom, I didn’t do this on purpose. I didn’t get pregnant to land a man like you did.”

  Her mother’s head snapped up. Her jaw set and her cheeks grew red. “How dare you talk to me like that. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “I know about the baby you lost. I know you got pregnant so you’d have a reason to move away.”

  Holly was sure that if they were alone, her mother would have slapped her across the face. She’d embarrassed her, and she could see her fight every emotion that had been bottled inside of her for over thirty-four years.

  Her mother let out a deep breath and pushed back her shoulders. She looked past Holly, and the woman who had been pinning the dress quickly left the room.

  “How did you know about the baby?” There was humiliation and fear in her voice, and even though Holly was angry, she didn’t like the hurt her mother’s words carried.

  “I’ve always known.” She softened her tone.“It doesn’t make you less of a person.”

  Her mother lifted her head and batted away tears that formed behind her lashes. “My mother thought it did. My father swore to never speak to me again.”

  She reached for her mother’s arm. “And it was worth it?”

  Her mother shook her head and looked away. “No.” She turned back to the mirror and wiped her eyes. “Holly, you’d never understand.”

  “I understand more than you think I do. Do you think it’s easy not having any friends because you’re some kind of freak who’s in college at fifteen? You were all I had, and you were distant from me.”

  “Because I let the world down.”

  “You let no one down.” Holly reached for her mother’s shoulder and turned her toward her. “Dad loves you so much. He’s an amazing man who is completely in love with you. I can see it in his eyes. Even when you’re talking crazy.”

  Her mother laughed lightly. “I wanted so much for you. I never wanted this to happen to you.”

  “It’s not such a bad deal. Fate just worked a little backward for me.” Holly smiled and wiped a tear from her mother’s cheek. “Really, what would it be if I didn’t do it a little backward?”

  “I can see Gabe’s love for you in his eyes too. You mean the

  world to him.”

  “I know.” And at that moment she did. “It’s not how I would have planned it, but I’m happy. I want you to be happy for me. For all of us.”

  “I am.”

  “I don’t want a big wedding, Mother. I want something small with the people who accepted me for who I was. I don’t want the ones who don’t know me to see this joyous moment in my life. It’s not for them. It’s for me and Gabe and our baby.”

  Her mother stood quietly and stared at her. For the first time, Holly knew she couldn’t find any excuse in the world to hide behind. Holly had finally made a decision and stood behind it, no matter what it might have done to hurt her mother.

  Her mother’s shoulders dropped and she inhaled an unsteady breath. “I’m sorry I made you feel so bad.”

  “And I’m sorry I resented you for it and didn’t tell you.” Holly reached for her mother’s purse, which sat in the chair against the wall. True to Trudy Jacobs’s style, there was a hand
kerchief in the side pocket. Holly pulled it out and wiped away the stray tears on her mother’s cheeks. “I love you. And I know I love Gabe. And the most amazing thing is the love I have for this baby.” She rested a hand on her stomach. “I want us to be as happy as you and Daddy have always been.”

  “I hope you are.” Her mother touched her cheek. “Let’s finish here and get to lunch. I’m starving, and your father says Gabe has a meatloaf to die for.”

  Holly felt the unmistakable quickening in her stomach as her mother turned from her and looked in the mirror. It would be quite a moment to share with her, but as she placed her hands on her stomach, she realized she wasn’t ready. They’d made a lot of progress standing there in the dressing room, but Holly wasn’t ready to share that moment with anyone but Gabe. She turned her back to her mother to keep the joyous feeling inside of her secret. It was her moment. All hers.

  Chapter Eleven

  After the day with her mother, Holly had to agree on one thing. She and Gabe needed to sit down and finalize everything for the wedding.

  “My mother will be here on Monday,” he said as he scooped a spoonful of noodles from the paper carton Holly had picked up at Mr. Chan’s. It had been a long time since they’d eaten in Gabe’s kitchen. She knew he didn’t have any food—or anything she’d want to eat.

  “Where will they be staying?”

  “Chez Gabe’s Place,” he mimicked a French accent. “My sisters are on their own, but I think they’ll be fine. Too bad we haven’t closed on the house. It would be a nice place for them all to stay.” His voice carried a hint of humor, but she knew she’d been less than enthusiastic with her reaction.

  Holly put down her chopsticks and folded her arms on the table. “Fine. Let’s talk about the house.”

  Gabe shook his head. “Not yet.” He swallowed his noodles. “I haven’t cleared the kitchen of knives yet.”

  Holly dropped her shoulders and let out a huff. “Gabe, I wasn’t very nice about it, and I’ve come to realize that I didn’t need to be so…”

  “Mean? Nasty?”

  “I was neither of those things.”

  He choked on a piece of sesame chicken and quickly washed it down with his beer. “You’re right. My mistake. But please go on with your apology.”

  Holly glared at him. “I’d like to see it.”

  “The house?”

  “Of course the house. You didn’t back out of it, did you?”

  “No. To be honest, I was hoping you’d have a change of heart.”

  Holly sat back in her chair and crossed her arms over her chest. “You did, huh?’

  Gabe shrugged. “I have to hope.”

  “Well…” She sat back in her chair and crossed her arms over her chest. He thought he knew her so well. Maybe he did. Maybe she didn’t know herself as well as she’d thought. “It sounds nice, and as we know, we can’t fit the baby and both of us in my condo or up here in your apartment.”

  “I’m glad you see that. And I’ll arrange for us to look at it tomorrow.”

  “How busy is it downstairs? Can we drive by it now?”

  Gabe fumbled with his chopsticks and finally picked up the piece of chicken with his fingers and popped it into his mouth. “If Chandra doesn’t kill me, we’ll go look.”

  The sun had set, and the chill of November blew through Gabe’s light coat. But the smile Holly tried to hide as they pulled up in front of the house warmed him.

  The light by the door illuminated the porch and the front yard, which glistened under a dusting of snow. It sparkled like her eyes, and he thought it was a good sign.

  Holly had perched herself in the seat and cranked her neck to get in a good view. The house boasted a big hill in the front yard with steps to the front door, which was part of the charm in these old Denver neighborhoods. He’d assured himself that the house faced south. There would be less shoveling in

  the winter.

  A few moments later, a car pulled up behind them, and Holly twisted in her seat. “Are those the owners?”

  Gabe shook his head. “It’s my friend Doug. He’s going to show you the house.”

  “This is his house?”

  “He’s my real estate agent. I didn’t see any reason in making you wait to see it.” Holly crinkled up her nose and then tucked her lips between her teeth. He cocked his head to the side. “Is this okay?” Holly nodded and Gabe reached for her hand. “What’s wrong? Please don’t be sad.”

  “I’m not sad,” she said, batting at her eyes. “Everything makes me emotional lately.”

  “You’re entitled.” He lifted her fingers to his lips and kissed them. “Do you still want to see it?”

  Holly nodded again.

  Gabe stepped out of the car and shook Doug’s hand before opening the car door for Holly.

  He introduced Holly to Doug and then he led them up the six narrow steps of the yard, which led to the walk and four more broad steps to the front porch. When Doug pushed open the door and switched on the lights, Holly’s gasp brought a warmth to Gabe’s body, but her eyes still creased at the edges. There was still a fight to be had over it, but he knew he’d win. He’d had a lot of practice winning over emotional women.

  “Gabe, look at this floor.” She stood in the entry with her lips parted. “It’s beautiful.”

  Doug shut the front door. “The previous owners had it installed just last year. There’s hardwood all throughout this first floor, and the rest of the house was newly carpeted just six months ago.” Doug pointed up. “The chandelier was shipped in from France.”

  “Oh, it’s beautiful.” Holly let out a sigh. “Why would they want to move?”

  “New job. New city. Let me show you the dining room.”

  Holly followed Doug down the hall. The dining room boasted a similar chandelier and a china hutch built into the wall. The glass shelves were backlit, filling the room with elegance.

  “My mother would love this room.”

  “You can bring her by if you’d like.” Gabe rested his hand on the small of her back.

  Holly gave a little grunt and turned her attention to the decorative crown molding.

  Doug walked them through a swinging oak door and into the kitchen, and this time Gabe smiled. The previous owners had loved to entertain, and the kitchen and back porch had been renovated into an enormous great room. The appliances were top of the line, and the countertops a dark granite.

  Doug turned on every light in the kitchen then searched for the switch for the lights that illuminated the enormous fireplace mantel. “With stools at the breakfast bar, a kitchen table, and couches and chairs in the living area, this space seated about thirty guests.”

  The corners of Holly’s mouth dropped. “Gabe, I can’t entertain like that.”

  “You don’t have to. We could fill it with children.” When she spun to him, her face had lost its color. He couldn’t help but wonder when she’d completely loosen up around him. It wasn’t as if he’d said there weren’t any options and they had to have six or seven kids. “We can discuss that later.”

  Doug showed them the powder room and the formal living room before they walked up the staircase to examine the bedrooms.

  The master bedroom was at the back of the house and overlooked the small backyard. Holly did a little dance when she saw the jetted tub, but quickly stiffened back up as if she hadn’t wanted Gabe to see that she did in fact like parts of the house.

  He was hoping the closet would be a selling point. She’d been worried that in her own condo there wasn’t any room for him. That shouldn’t be an issue in this house. There was a walk-in closet for each of them. And, in time, he’d gladly let her know he’d keep his meek wardrobe elsewhere if she needed the space. But that too was a discussion for another time.

  The other bedrooms were the perfect sizes for children to

  play and grow in. And the basement was as big as the living area of the house and unfinished. It was the perfect location for a playroom in which chil
dren could run until they’d outgrown the wonder of imagination. Then they could have a game room. Gabe was becoming more excited about the whole prospect.

  “What are you thinking?” Holly leaned into him and traced his mouth with her finger, and he realized he was grinning.

  “Making plans in my head.” At her narrowing eyes, he added, “And I’m leaving them there.”

  Holly had asked to walk through the house once more, alone, and the men settled in the kitchen and let her explore. When she returned, they walked out the front door, and Doug locked it behind them. Gabe stood with Doug a moment after Holly climbed in the car.

  “She doesn’t look sold,” Doug said quietly even though Holly was out of range to hear them.

  “I’m quickly learning she has to process things. Let’s keep things where they are with the sellers. Worst-case scenario, I own a house and we have to sell it again.”

  “You’ve always amazed me with your optimistic outlook on things.” Doug slapped his shoulder and walked to his car.

  Gabe stood a moment longer and looked at the house. There was a peace in standing on the step looking up at it. It had been years since he’d felt at home. Years before he’d moved to Denver and even before he and Jasmine had bought their first house together. In fact, that house hadn’t felt as comfortable as the empty one before him. He needed the house as much as he needed Holly and the baby. When had he grown so needy?

  “Gabe.” Her voice carried through the cold. “Are you

  coming?”

  “Yeah. I’ll be right there.” He took a deep breath and let the moment surround him. He was happy.

  Holly wasn’t sure what to say as they drove back to the restaurant. Her head was spinning and her emotions were, again,