Cart Before The Horse Read online

  Gabe swept her off her feet and carried her over the threshold of the house, kicking the door closed with his foot. He didn’t set her on her feet until he’d walked to the back of the house to the kitchen, where a bottle of bubbling cider waited for them with two glasses.

  “My nieces and nephews love this stuff,” he said as he popped the top off the bottle. “They call it kids’ wine.”

  “Cute.”

  “Best I can do for my blushing bride for now.” He patted her baby bump. “When she’s born, we’ll celebrate with the best bottle of champagne I can get my hands on.”

  “I think that sounds wonderful.”

  Over their kitchen counter, they drank their celebration drink and looked around the empty house.

  “We’re going to have to do a lot of shopping in the next few months.” Gabe drank down his glass of sparkling cider.

  “I never thought I’d have to start all over. I had a perfectly good sofa and a dining room set.” Holly let out a sigh. She liked the house, but there was nothing of her own left for her to bring into it. “And my bed.”

  Gabe smiled. “I could care less about all of that stuff. I’ll sit on milk crates with you. I’m glad you made it out of that fire. That’s all that mattered.” He took her glass and set it on the counter. “Now…” He pulled her by the hand to the stairs. “I can help with the bed.”

  Holly followed her husband up the stairs to the bedroom.

  Gabe pushed open the bedroom door and turned on the light. In the middle of the room, scattered with rose petals, was a king-sized mahogany four-poster bed.

  “Oh, Gabe.”

  “Yeah, I knew this one would get you.” He took her by the hand and into the bedroom. “We only put the bed up and the dresser. Chandra was itching to paint, but said she’d come back. She’s very big on you choosing everything.”

  “Who chose this?” She held up her finger and her diamond

  sparkled in the light.

  “I will never tell you that.”

  Holly grinned and wrapped her arms around Gabe’s neck. “Tell her thank you. She did a great job.”

  “Busted, huh?”

  “Busted.”

  Gabe pulled Holly into his arms and waltzed her to the bed. “This is only day one of our honeymoon.”

  “What honeymoon? You still have guests at your house. You still have to work.”

  “I know how much you love surprises.”

  Holly narrowed her eyes at him. “Then you haven’t been paying much attention to me for the past few months.” She dropped her hands from around his neck. “I’m not very fond of them.”

  “You’re married to me now. You’re going to have to get used to them. I like to surprise you.”

  Holly gritted her teeth. Is this what he had in mind for the rest of their lives? Throwing things at her to see how she would react? Her mother had done that to her growing up. She didn’t need someone else always trying to push her in another direction.

  “Gabe, you shouldn’t have done this.” She turned from him. “We would have been just fine at your apartment.”

  “Holly, I thought this would be nice. And in the morning we’re flying to Destin to sit on the beach for a couple of days and do nothing but stare at each other and make love.”

  Holly shook her head. “You can’t always do these kinds of things. You can’t always assume everything is just there for the planning. I’m having your baby. I married you. Now I’m living with you. Isn’t this all surprise enough?”

  He pressed his lips together and let out a slow breath. “Are you really mad at me over this? I’m in a tux. You’re in your wedding dress. We’re standing in our house and you’re pregnant with our baby. Is it too much to ask for you to sleep in my

  arms tonight and look forward to a vacation that I planned,

  for fun?”

  Guilt flooded her. There she was worried that her mother would make the day all about her, and she’d forgotten half of the day was—and should be—about Gabe.

  She took a deep breath and moved back to him. His arms were tense when they wrapped around her, but they softened and caressed. She felt his heartbeat against her cheek. “I seem to forget things changed for you too when I walked into your

  restaurant.”

  He held her closer. “I’ve never regretted a moment of it.”

  “Thank you for thinking of all of this. I look forward to sitting on the beach with you.”

  “Well, I did have some help.”

  Holly looked around the room once more and noticed the closet door was ajar, revealing a glimpse of silky white fabric. “I assume our mothers had something to do with all of this?”

  “Yes.”

  She walked to the closet and opened the door. There hung the nightgown her mother had picked up for her at the mall. The rise in her cheeks from her smile nearly hurt since she’d been scowling so hard. “Why don’t I slip into something more comfortable?”

  Gabe rubbed the back of his neck and then ran his finger under his collar as if to loosen it even more. “I’m all for it, but I’m not sure it’ll be on very long.”

  Holly looked back at him as she shut the bathroom door. She looked at the nightgown and thought of how backward that was. “Well, Holly,” she whispered to herself. “This little outfit should have been the horse before this cart.” She rested her hand on her stomach. For a brief moment she realized how big the entire day was. Marriage. Family. Home. A baby. Her heartbeat kicked up, and she placed her hand on her chest. How devastating it would be if any one of those things disappeared.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Their weekend away on the white sandy beaches of Destin, Florida had come to an end much too soon. But as Holly dressed for work Tuesday morning, in the bathroom of her new home, with her new husband, she smiled into the mirror. There was definitely a glow about her. It wasn’t just her sun-kissed skin, and it wasn’t just the pregnancy that day by day changed her; it was love, marriage, and forever.

  “You’re grinning at yourself,” Gabe said, leaning against the doorjamb, ruffled from a full night’s sleep.

  “I am. I have never been so deliriously happy in all of

  my life.”

  “It looks good on you.”

  Holly sighed. “Thank you.” Then she straightened and went back to work putting on her mascara. “Why are you up? You’ll have to work late, you should rest.”

  “I’ve been resting since last week. I feel good. Besides, my new manager works Tuesday through Saturday. I have banker hours now, baby.”

  Holly turned, but her smile had slipped away. “Are you sure you want to do that? Not that Chandra can’t handle it. But that was your life.”

  Gabe moved in and wrapped his arms around her. “You’re right. It was. It was my life for a very long time. And before that I sold houses by the thousands and worked until I was sick just to numb myself. I’m not numb anymore, Holly. I’m full of life and full of love. I don’t want to miss anything.”

  She rested her head on his shoulder. How could she have fallen in love so quickly with the most perfect man in the world? It just didn’t seem possible, but then again, she was finding that deliriously happy was such a good place to be.

  Holly became a frantic designer for the next month, trying to catch up on all the work she had missed. She couldn’t believe it, but she’d even missed Tracy’s horrible tea.

  By night, she and Gabe were shopaholics. The insurance money had come in for the loss on her condo, and she went right to work furnishing her new home.

  They had similar tastes, which surprised her. Then again, she wondered how much of his agreeing was simply to appease her. The bigger her stomach grew, the shorter her temper was. But Gabe seemed to be taking that in stride just like he did everything else in his life.

  Box by box his items came home with him from the apartment. There were few, and Holly thought it was funny that they both were starting their lives together with nothing tangible, only their love
, and the continued lust that had thrown them together in the first place.

  Holly walked through the garage and dropped her bags and purse on the kitchen counter. She was exhausted. The day had been full of meetings and redesigns. She didn’t want to think about work anymore. And didn’t it figure that the baby had been very wiggly all day and she’d finally had to give in to her maternity wardrobe because her pregnancy was completely obvious now.

  When she rounded the corner and saw her husband, though, she smiled and the fatigue from the day melted away. There stood Gabe among their new roomful of furniture in the family room, stringing what had to be the hundredth string of lights on a decadently full Christmas tree.

  “What are you doing?”

  Gabe looked at the tree and the mass of lights still in a pile

  on the floor, then back at her, grinning as though he’d been caught doing something he hadn’t wanted her to see. “I like Christmas and I like lights and all the wires.”

  She covered her mouth with her hand and laughed. “Gabriel Maguire, you never cease to amaze me.”

  “I hope I never do.” He stepped down from his step stool. “I know you’re tired, so we can finish this tomorrow if

  you want.”

  Holly shook her head. She’d like nothing more than to relax and kick her feet up, but looking at the glimmer in the eyes of her husband, who certainly wasn’t ready to stop strangling the tree with lights, she would never tell him that. “Did you buy ornaments?”

  “A few, but this is what got me going.” He walked over to the enormous box that sat on the coffee table. “Our mothers are working together now, you know. I think they’re best friends, long distance of course.”

  “Of course.”

  “This came to the restaurant today. Chandra said your dad dropped it off.”

  “What is it?” Holly moved further into the room and looked into the box. It was full of homemade ornaments. Some she recognized, and they flooded her mind instantly with memories of having made them. “Gabe, these are ornaments I made in elementary school.”

  “I know.” He reached into the box and sorted through them. Holly noticed not all the ornaments were hers when she pulled out a tissue-paper ornament. Gabe grinned at the makeshift decoration. “Mom sent a box similar to this one of things that I’d made. They hung on her tree for years. She must have collaborated with your mom and sent them to her first.”

  Holly pulled out a bell she’d made of cardboard and covered in glitter. “Second grade. Mrs. Haze. Best teacher ever.”

  Gabe pulled out an ornament that didn’t have much shape at all. “I think I made this when I was in my early twenties.”

  They both laughed and then began to dig through the box, sharing stories of their childhoods with each ornament that was pulled out and hung on the tree.

  “I can’t believe they did this,” Holly joyfully hung an angel made of a coffee filter, a pipe-cleaner halo, and her second-grade face onto the tree. “This is amaz...” She stopped when she turned to see Gabe silently gazing down at an ornament. His eyes had lost their shimmer. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.” He wrapped the ornament back in its protective tissue and set it to the side.

  “Don’t tell me that when something is bothering you.” She felt that fuse of anger ignite, and her joyous moment clouded. “Show me what you were looking at.”

  Gabe sat for a moment longer. He finally blew out a hard breath and handed her the paper.

  Holly tore into it. What could be so bad that…

  “Oh.” Her hands shook as she looked down at the Our First Christmas ornament and Gabe and Jasmine looked back up at her.

  “She must have just grabbed it wrong. Mom never would have intentionally sent it. I can’t believe she had it. I’m

  sorry that…”

  “Stop.” Holly sucked in a deep breath and forced back her tears. “It’s okay.”

  “I didn’t want it to upset you.” He stood and walked

  to her.

  Everything inside of her snapped. There was no more happy. No more content. She was mad and she couldn’t hide it. “I’m second. I came along, you didn’t choose me like you chose her. There are things I have to deal with, and this is one of them.”

  “Now wait.” He took the ornament out of her hand and tossed it back into the box without the care of wrapping it back up. “I did choose you. I walked out of the restaurant with you and I spent the night. Don’t talk like that.”

  “But you weren’t in love with me when we created this.” She held her rounded stomach. “You loved her. You asked her to marry her because you loved her. We only agreed on marriage as a formality.”

  “You only agreed to that. I’ve been in love with you…”

  “Don’t. Don’t tell me from the first minute.”

  Gabe squeezed his eyes shut and balled his fists at his sides. “Holly,” he said through gritted teeth as he opened his eyes. “I don’t know what you want me to tell you. Jasmine is gone. You’re here. We’re here. Us. Our family.”

  The tears came and Holly couldn’t brush them away quickly enough. “But what if I’m a mistake?”

  “A mistake? When have I ever made you feel like that?”

  She couldn’t answer, of course, because it wasn’t her talking. It was the pregnancy talking. The rush of hormones that took any situation, turned it, and twisted it until she cried. She’d even cried that morning when the client didn’t favor one of her designs and wanted to see it changed. That should have been normal. She’d been told that a million times over the years. It was part of the job.

  But even though she could identify that she was melting down because her entire body was going through changes, she couldn’t stop the fight she’d started.

  “I’m sorry you lost her. You would have been so happy with a house full of kids by now in Boston. Now you’re stuck with me. The one you knocked up because your wife is dead.”

  Pain flashed across his face. And she knew. His love for Jasmine ran deep. A wrenching sob burst from her.

  “What in the hell has gotten into you?” He took her by the shoulders. “You are my wife.”

  She couldn’t even look at him anymore. She knew she was his wife, and he’d chosen her, but seeing Jasmine smiling up at her caused a reaction she didn’t know she still had.

  Holly broke free, ran up the stairs to the bedroom, slammed the door, and locked it.

  Gabe scrubbed his hands over his face and sat back down in his recliner. Oh, he remembered these fits. Jasmine would have thrown the damn ornament in his face. At least Holly hadn’t done that. No, she’d cried, and that was worse.

  He had to admit he did love Jasmine. She’d been his life. And, yes, if she’d lived, they’d have a big beautiful life together in Boston, and she’d probably have taught their children to throw things at him.

  That made him laugh to himself. But there was a truth there too. He loved Jasmine. He loved her as much as he thought he could love anyone. He’d proposed to her, drooled over himself, and thought he’d die when she was taken from him.

  What he’d learned, however, was no matter how much he loved the girl who was taken from him, there was no comparison to what he felt for Holly. He slapped his hands down on his thighs. Holly had seen the love he had for Jasmine in his reactions and in his eyes. It shouldn’t have been there at all. He’d never loved Jasmine as much as he loved Holly. He’d been unfair to her by holding on to any part of the past.

  Well, he’d have to keep showing her. He wasn’t letting Holly slip though his fingers, baby or no baby. He loved her more than he’d ever loved anyone.

  He took the ornament and carried it to the basement where he’d stored extra boxes. In the corner, on a shelf by itself, was the white box he’d found in his closet. He slipped the ornament inside, next to Jasmine’s wedding bouquet, and then hurried up the steps, taking them two at a time.

  Gabe grabbed hold of the bedroom doorknob only to find it locked when he pus
hed against it. “Holly, let me in. I love you and I’m not going to let you go to bed without me.”

  He could hear her behind the door.

  He pushed against it again as if it would open. “Seriously, I’ll get in there. This is silly. I’ve done nothing to make you think…”

  The door opened slowly, and Holly fell against him and

  sobbed. He smoothed her hair and kissed the top of her head, cradling her in his arms. “It’s all right,” he whispered.

  “I’ve never loved anyone this much.” Her breath shuddered, and she hiccupped. “I get conflicted when I think

  you have.”

  “Oh, Holly, I thought I loved Jasmine more than my own life once.” He took her by the shoulders and eased her back so he could look her in the eye. “Back then that might have been true. But, without a doubt in my mind, I can tell you I have never loved anyone as much as I love you. And it’s not the baby. I’m excited to have the baby. But had you never come back for me, I would have slipped into an even darker place. I have loved you all along. I’m smart enough to know how lucky I am.”

  “I’m so sorry I said all of that. I get so crazy. It’s like a switch turning on inside of me, and I lose my mind.”

  He laughed. He remembered his sisters each doing that. And he remembered the faces of his brothers-in-law each time it happened to them. He could only assume his face looked

  the same.

  “Let’s get some sleep. You look like you had a long day, and Chandra is making me do the liquor order tomorrow.” He turned her back toward the bedroom and led her to the bed, deciding carefully how he would phrase the request he needed to make. “I have one more moment I need to have with Jasmine, and I want you there with me. Okay?”

  Holly nodded, but her eyebrows had drawn closer, and he knew he’d confused her. “When the time is right.”

  “I trust you,” she said and kissed him softly on the lips. Then she disappeared into the bathroom and Gabe went back downstairs to turn off the lights.